1
00:00:05,389 --> 00:00:07,510
Yes. Yes, Dad, I called your plumber.

2
00:00:07,910 --> 00:00:08,910
Yeah, Big Tony.

3
00:00:09,470 --> 00:00:13,010
He's kind of busy right now, but I'm
first on his list once he passes his

4
00:00:13,010 --> 00:00:14,010
stone.

5
00:00:14,910 --> 00:00:16,329
So what about my disposal?

6
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:18,470
Yes, I have a broom.

7
00:00:19,670 --> 00:00:20,870
Of course I have a broom.

8
00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:22,970
Okay.

9
00:00:23,770 --> 00:00:24,770
All right.

10
00:00:25,430 --> 00:00:26,430
Oh, all right.

11
00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:32,110
Well, so far it just looks like a tragic
witch accident.

12
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:35,720
The disposal's broken again.

13
00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:37,480
Spence, Dad says hi.

14
00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:39,060
Spence waves hi.

15
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,740
Sometimes you have to jiggle it.

16
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,020
Shut up! Shut up!

17
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:51,680
Sometimes you don't.

18
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,660
Dad, do you still have that really short
housekeeper?

19
00:01:17,390 --> 00:01:18,390
It's Howdy Doody time.

20
00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:21,950
Ellen, you missed the best gay charity
hoedown ever.

21
00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:23,850
Yeah, where were you, Miss Antisocial?

22
00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:27,790
I'm not antisocial. I would never go to
a hoedown unless it was for a really

23
00:01:27,790 --> 00:01:30,490
good cause, like ridding the world of
hoedowns.

24
00:01:32,290 --> 00:01:33,770
Ellen, you've got to start mixing it up.

25
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,590
I mean, coming out of the closet is
fine, but occasionally you have to come

26
00:01:36,590 --> 00:01:37,590
of the house.

27
00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:41,850
Oh, no, uh -uh. Last time I did that, I
saw my shadow. We had six more weeks of

28
00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:42,850
winter.

29
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:47,010
I get out plenty, Peter. Don't worry
about me. Oh, Ellen, my brave little

30
00:01:47,010 --> 00:01:48,010
-in. Come here.

31
00:01:48,510 --> 00:01:50,470
I brought you something from today's
festivities.

32
00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:51,750
A goodie bag!

33
00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:53,810
Oh, a goodie! A bag!

34
00:01:55,090 --> 00:01:56,090
There's stuff in it.

35
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,710
Yeah, it's a complete kit of everything
you need to be gay.

36
00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:02,350
It's funny. I thought I had all that on
me.

37
00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:07,610
Let's see. There's a rainbow air
freshener.

38
00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:10,410
It smells... It smells gay.

39
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,320
There's a Gertrude Stein kitchen magnet.

40
00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:24,400
And... A gay yellow pages? There's a gay
yellow pages?

41
00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:27,860
Wow, even my yellow pages are out.

42
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,800
My almanac is not living a lie.

43
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,940
Now, Ellen, don't make fun. The gay
community yellow pages represent an

44
00:02:34,940 --> 00:02:35,940
important step in our empowerment.

45
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,720
It also reflects the colorful panoply of
gay -owned businesses.

46
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,680
We're not all hairdressers and florists.

47
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,620
Well, there's a lot of men here.

48
00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:49,010
people. Wow.

49
00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:50,850
Check out the abs on that mortician.

50
00:02:52,710 --> 00:02:54,370
Ooh, you could die and go to heaven.

51
00:02:58,430 --> 00:03:01,510
I don't know, there's something weird
about it. Very, very separatist. You

52
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,370
I mean, what do I care who my mortician
sleeps with?

53
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:05,210
Okay, bad example.

54
00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:09,310
Ellen, this is about getting involved in
your community.

55
00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:12,290
Yeah, and you just bought a house, so
you must have 101 things you need done.

56
00:03:12,490 --> 00:03:16,110
Well, I could use a plumber. I need to
get my disposal fixed before my party on

57
00:03:16,110 --> 00:03:17,110
Saturday.

58
00:03:17,270 --> 00:03:18,270
Hello, plumbers.

59
00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:19,470
Oh, I know him.

60
00:03:19,850 --> 00:03:21,370
Yeah, he's in my clog dancing class.

61
00:03:22,950 --> 00:03:25,150
I don't know. It seems... Oh, come on,
Ellen.

62
00:03:25,590 --> 00:03:28,510
The man has been keeping our people down
long enough.

63
00:03:29,370 --> 00:03:30,510
Together we stand.

64
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,010
Divided we fall.

65
00:03:32,290 --> 00:03:33,870
Queer nation, one and all.

66
00:03:35,990 --> 00:03:38,010
The last time, Audrey, you were not a
lesbian.

67
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:42,610
Only because of my insatiable appetite
for men.

68
00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:45,570
I guess I could use your friend.

69
00:03:46,170 --> 00:03:47,370
My mom has those same earrings.

70
00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:49,830
She had to wear them there.

71
00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:54,910
So, Ellen, how many people are expected
at Saturday's soiree?

72
00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:57,670
Well, just the two of you and then Paige
and Joe.

73
00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:01,850
But once this place gets a -rockin', no
tellin' how many cops will show up.

74
00:04:03,170 --> 00:04:06,550
Michael, why don't I invite some of my
friends Saturday and we can use the

75
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,790
as a way to introduce you to the
community?

76
00:04:08,110 --> 00:04:11,990
Oh, Ellen, this is so exciting. It'll be
like the Prince is ballin'. You're the

77
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:12,990
gay Cinderella.

78
00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:16,180
And you're dopey.

79
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,160
That's a different movie, silly.

80
00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:20,980
Oh, don't I know it.

81
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:28,840
So, finally, a chance to break out my
chips and salsa sombrero.

82
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:30,800
Hey.

83
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:35,700
A little south of the border touch from
the People's Republic of China.

84
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,180
Okay, so what's up with this gay
plumber? He's an hour late.

85
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,580
I wish you would stop calling him that.

86
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,200
What? Gay plumber? I mean, we don't call
you hetero Paige.

87
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:49,560
No, but tonight around your new friends,
I wouldn't mind if you did.

88
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,100
Didn't I tell you? We're raffling you
off.

89
00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,140
A little help here.

90
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:56,560
Joe's back with the beer.

91
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:58,120
Joe's here. Come on in.

92
00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:03,540
Can't drink it all myself.

93
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,020
Sure you can. Remember last Canadian
Remembrance Day?

94
00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:09,540
Actually, no.

95
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,260
Here's an interesting little brew. Fire
Island Lager.

96
00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:15,980
There's two men kissing on the label.

97
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,060
Peter sent me to a gay -owned
microbrewery. Had to go through a pretty

98
00:05:21,060 --> 00:05:22,560
part of West Hollywood to get it.

99
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,320
Gay beer? Who knew they had gay beer?

100
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:29,400
Oh, look, there's a recipe on the back
for beer -based salmon kebabs and a

101
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,400
cilantro sauce.

102
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,500
This is not half bad, and I'm secure
enough in my manhood to say that.

103
00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:38,960
You know what would go really good with
this? Gay beer nuts.

104
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,440
appreciate everything y 'all are trying
to do, but I wish you would stop

105
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,200
assuming that everything is tied to my
sexuality.

106
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:49,120
Well, you're the one who went out and
hired a gay plumber.

107
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:54,240
It was Peter's friend. It's no big deal.
And besides, a plumber is a plumber.

108
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,100
Hi, I'm the plumber.

109
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,180
Hey, look, I'm a winner.

110
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:07,160
Two free tickets to Lord of the Dance.

111
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,680
You're back in business. The disposal's
purring like Eartha Kitt. Oh, well,

112
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,720
thank you.

113
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,300
Thank you so much. And, you know, later
on I'm having a little party. I think

114
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,800
half your clog dancing class is going to
be here. Thanks, but I have plans.

115
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,020
Oh.

116
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,900
Do you take checks, or should I stuff
money down your pants?

117
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,179
I'll bill you.

118
00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:54,360
Okay. You have a great party. Okay. Bye.

119
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:55,640
Bye -bye.

120
00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:10,450
Haven't seen you here before.

121
00:07:13,290 --> 00:07:14,290
I'm Ellen.

122
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:17,670
Hmm? Me?

123
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:20,250
Ellen.

124
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,070
Ellen's my name.

125
00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:27,470
Spelling's my game.

126
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:29,730
Not saying it's a great game.

127
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:36,630
Hell. You need to work on your Mac.

128
00:07:37,230 --> 00:07:38,230
My what?

129
00:07:38,430 --> 00:07:39,199
Your rap.

130
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,040
You should try something like, hey,
baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet,

131
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,180
like to put I next to you.

132
00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:48,500
Who am I, Billy Dee Williams?

133
00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:53,060
I can't believe I have to work tonight.
The whole reason I went to medical

134
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:54,840
school was to tell people I was a doctor
at parties.

135
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,280
That and my almost religious fascination
with Doc on the love boat.

136
00:08:16,490 --> 00:08:17,490
I was looking for that water.

137
00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:30,330
Hey, big Tony, come on in. Hey, look at
you, little Alan.

138
00:08:31,570 --> 00:08:32,569
How are you feeling?

139
00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:36,390
Well, I finally got rid of that kidney
stone, but you probably heard the

140
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:37,390
screaming.

141
00:08:37,929 --> 00:08:41,770
I haven't seen you since your goldfish
died and got stuck in the toilet.

142
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:44,890
Goldie?

143
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:50,210
My parents told me they sent him off to
a nice fish farm in Montana.

144
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,230
Anyway, I have friends coming in a half
an hour, so if we could just hurry.

145
00:08:57,510 --> 00:08:59,410
Yeah, don't worry. I'll help you out of
here in no time.

146
00:09:06,990 --> 00:09:08,210
Hello, hostess with the mostest.

147
00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:10,870
Oh, plan diggers.

148
00:09:11,230 --> 00:09:12,230
Someone's going retro.

149
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:17,730
And someone's here a half hour early.

150
00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:20,170
Ellen, this is Amy. Amy, Ellen.

151
00:09:20,390 --> 00:09:21,650
Hi, how are you? Ellen.

152
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:31,270
I, uh, brought you a little something
for your house. Oh, how kind of you.

153
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:32,270
you.

154
00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:34,730
Oh, it's a rainbow flag.

155
00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:37,170
And it's actual rainbow size.

156
00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:42,750
The rainbow is a sign of unity for gays
of all sexes, creeds, and colors.

157
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,940
Well, it's also a sign that it's raining
and the sun is still shining.

158
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,000
Amy, you'll be pleased to know that
Ellen used a plumber from our Yellow

159
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,440
Ah. Yes, I did. Oh, what a tremendous
help that was.

160
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:58,560
Yeah. I used to just pick my service
people willy -nilly, and now I get a

161
00:09:58,560 --> 00:09:59,560
glimpse into the bedroom.

162
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:02,080
Why don't I go chill the champagne?

163
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:08,500
Uh, no, no. Um, I mean, um, I have a
very sophisticated alarm on my

164
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:12,360
refrigerator, so I should... What?

165
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,499
that sound?

166
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:17,940
Uh, my kitchen. I have, uh, the radio's
on. I'm listening to NPR.

167
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,000
They're doing a special on, um, seals.

168
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:24,760
Oh, they're getting to the sad part.

169
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,940
Um, I should, uh, turn it off.

170
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:34,300
Would you please clang a little quieter?
That's like asking a puppy not to

171
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,300
frolic.

172
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,900
help, thank you, but you know what you
could do is you could fold these napkins

173
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:04,120
into the animal of your choice.

174
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:06,920
The kitties. Perfect.

175
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:15,500
Oh, boy.

176
00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:18,020
Hey, where's the cute plumber?

177
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:19,620
That's him.

178
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,200
He let himself go after you left.

179
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,120
That's my dad's plumber. The other guy
didn't work out.

180
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,460
I can't believe you. I schlep all the
way to Encino to get you gay ice and you

181
00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:31,460
hire a straight plumber.

182
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,240
Paige, there is no such thing as gay
ice.

183
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,180
I stand corrected.

184
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,440
Look, Peter and his friends don't know
that I strayed from the flock, so please

185
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,840
don't mention anything about Big Tony.

186
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:53,400
Oh, gee, what am I going to talk about
if I can't share my Big Tony stories?

187
00:11:55,950 --> 00:11:56,950
Thank you.

188
00:11:58,990 --> 00:12:01,810
Oh, I know that's the hand wiping that
follows a job well done.

189
00:12:02,050 --> 00:12:03,410
I have to get a part from the van.

190
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:05,250
Nice cherub.

191
00:12:06,770 --> 00:12:11,230
Ellen! Hey, if anybody stops you, keep
it to two topics. Fashion and Liza's

192
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,230
brave struggle.

193
00:12:13,990 --> 00:12:15,610
Ellen, people are showing up. Come
greet.

194
00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:18,130
Oh, that is the cutest ice sculpture.

195
00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:20,590
Let me bring everyone in to see it. No,
no, no.

196
00:12:20,850 --> 00:12:23,390
It's not an ice sculpture. That's the
scary thing. I just found it in my

197
00:12:23,390 --> 00:12:25,150
freezer. It formed from the frost.

198
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:26,820
believe it's an act of God.

199
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,040
Or the devil.

200
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,620
Quiet under there, Big Tony.

201
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:44,420
Give me that.

202
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:46,980
What did I tell you?

203
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:51,020
No dessert until you finish your
plumbing.

204
00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:03,920
and you're missing all that fun. You've
been in the kitchen for an hour.

205
00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:06,260
See who doesn't mingle, die single.

206
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,700
Every time I turn the TV, some woman is
kissing some man.

207
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,240
I have nothing against what they do in
their home, but I shouldn't have to

208
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:16,240
it.

209
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:22,540
Sorry. Sorry.

210
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:24,940
Senor Crunchy? They're Nacho Ranch.

211
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:27,780
No, thank you. I'm boycotting. Excuse
me.

212
00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:29,340
Girlcotting.

213
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,220
Senior Crunchies has repeatedly denied
benefits to same -sex partners.

214
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:35,560
But they're cornelicious.

215
00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:44,140
Okay, check out that one. She's just a
little husky to be wearing lace hose.

216
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:47,500
Her legs look like dolphins struggling
to get out of a tuna net.

217
00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:58,860
Oh, Breanne, I'm... It's obvious you
could get any guy that you want. I

218
00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:01,530
How did you decide that you were gay?

219
00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:06,230
High school, after a swim meet, I looked
across the locker room and there was

220
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:08,850
the sexiest woman on the entire team
smiling back at me.

221
00:14:09,590 --> 00:14:10,890
It was me in the mirror.

222
00:14:12,610 --> 00:14:16,450
Oh, my God, the same exact thing
happened to me, only it didn't make me

223
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,110
I just bought more mirrors.

224
00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:28,890
So, I blew past the defenders, juked the
goalie, slap shot,

225
00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,460
Goal. That's when I fell in love with
the sport of field hockey.

226
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:38,560
You are aware, Joseph, that your
anecdotes, though highly amusing, will

227
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,520
these women find you attractive in that
way.

228
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,020
Get lost, Audrey. They think I'm a
chick.

229
00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:52,100
I know it's hard to keep up with all the
companies that are fighting our cause.

230
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:55,840
If you'd like, I will search your home
and alert you to any product that is

231
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,140
by a gay, unfriendly company.

232
00:14:58,060 --> 00:15:00,860
Oh, thanks, but I hired a straight
company to do that for me.

233
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,500
You know, that's another thing, Ellen.
You really shouldn't use the word

234
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,520
straight. It implies that gay people are
somehow crooked or bent.

235
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:14,020
Well, what about the word gay? I mean,
that's a lot of pressure to be happy and

236
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:15,020
cheerful all the time.

237
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:18,140
Although I see it didn't touch you at
all.

238
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:22,520
Ellen.

239
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:24,960
Look who popped in.

240
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,760
Oh, no, you're not supposed to. What are
you doing here?

241
00:15:27,290 --> 00:15:28,450
And by that, she means welcome.

242
00:15:29,290 --> 00:15:32,490
What can I get you to drink? Just some
water. But I know where the kitchen is.

243
00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:35,890
No, no, no. You know where the best
water in the house is? In the bathroom.

244
00:15:36,030 --> 00:15:39,530
That's what delicious, tasty, tasty
water. The people that used to live here

245
00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:41,210
come and fill up their canteens all the
time.

246
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,670
Attention, attention, everyone.

247
00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:50,670
I would like to propose a toast to our
new sister, Ellen.

248
00:15:54,700 --> 00:16:00,740
Remember, as John Kennedy might have
said, had he been gay, that's not what

249
00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:04,300
gay community can do for you. Ask what
you can do for the gay community.

250
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,140
Well,

251
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,300
thank you very much.

252
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:18,560
And I promise to have a lesbian on the
moon this decade.

253
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,780
and if Jerry Falwell has anything to do
with it, we'll have all of them on the

254
00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:25,780
moon.

255
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:29,840
Right on, sister!

256
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:36,800
Seriously, I want to thank Barrett and
Peter.

257
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,199
Where's Peter?

258
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,920
Oh, he's in the kitchen. He's opening
another bottle of wine. No!

259
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:47,480
No, no, I wanted to open the right
bottle. I have a gag bottle of pop -up

260
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,400
snakes, and I don't want to pick that
one, so I'll just...

261
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,330
You can't be in here.

262
00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:55,930
Okay. Why?

263
00:16:57,070 --> 00:17:00,410
Because this is Agent Markowitz, CIA.

264
00:17:02,810 --> 00:17:07,849
He's sweeping the place for bugs, just
because last week, I just, I didn't tell

265
00:17:07,849 --> 00:17:09,670
you, I started dating Candace Gingrich.

266
00:17:12,069 --> 00:17:15,230
Well, Agent Markowitz here was just
explaining how I can adjust the water

267
00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:16,230
pressure on my dishwasher.

268
00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:17,310
It's top secret.

269
00:17:18,910 --> 00:17:20,390
Right. I'll be back.

270
00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:24,040
I, uh... I have to call headquarters on
the thermos phone.

271
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,300
Hey, you got me.

272
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:30,100
It's my dad's plumber. He's not gay.

273
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,880
But in his defense, I bet he doesn't do
so well with the ladies either.

274
00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:36,460
So is this why you've been acting so odd
tonight?

275
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,960
Well, yes. I don't want people to think
I don't support the community. I do.

276
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,540
But, you know, I can't keep up. It's
overwhelming.

277
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:46,280
I can't keep up with the bumper stickers
and the flags and the gay bakeries and

278
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:47,780
the lesbian -friendly furniture polish.

279
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:53,070
Some of my friends can be a little bit
rigid, but that's just their way of

280
00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:54,350
finding unity in the face of oppression.

281
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:57,930
Well, I appreciate that, but I came out
so I could be who I am, and I'm not

282
00:17:57,930 --> 00:17:59,790
about to change so I can please other
people.

283
00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,610
Ellen, the only reason I've been bugging
you to get more involved is because I

284
00:18:02,610 --> 00:18:05,710
wanted you to know that there's a whole
support system out there, people just

285
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:06,509
like you.

286
00:18:06,510 --> 00:18:07,590
The person you are is wonderful.

287
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:09,709
Thank you, Peter.

288
00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:12,610
And the good news is that you can be any
kind of gay person you want to be.

289
00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:15,730
Really? Well, I'm going to take my
clothes off and get my guns.

290
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,660
but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for
next week. A busload of us are chaining

291
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,860
ourselves to the corporate headquarters
at Senior Crunchy's.

292
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:44,260
Well, wear something comfortable.

293
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,900
Oh, I don't have to tell you that.

294
00:18:54,780 --> 00:18:56,080
Danny, what are you still doing here?

295
00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:58,500
I was picking up a few pointers from an
old pro.

296
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:02,460
Okay, kid. Go outside and turn the water
back on. Sure.

297
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,420
Do you remember what I told you?

298
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,180
It's righty -tighty -lefty -loosey?

299
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,240
There you go.

300
00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:13,820
He's got to be glad he's not a heart
surgeon.

301
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:18,620
He reminds me a little of myself when I
was first starting out.

302
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,040
Yeah, you can see that.

303
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:27,180
Too obsessed with my social life and not
focused enough on my trade.

304
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,520
Man, I was boy crazy.

305
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,020
Yeah, well, I... What?

306
00:19:33,550 --> 00:19:37,070
It wasn't until I moved in with Frank
that I got real serious about my job.

307
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,430
Frank, the electrician that worked on my
dad's house?

308
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,510
I saw you give him flowers one day, but
I thought it was just a union thing.

309
00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:47,990
Together for 18 years in March.

310
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:52,370
I think it's best if we don't mention
this to your father.

311
00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:59,010
Our Kiwanis picnic is coming up in a few
weeks, and him and I are partners in

312
00:19:59,010 --> 00:20:00,010
the three -legged race.

313
00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:07,460
So, wow, wow. Well, how come you don't
advertise in the gay yellow pages?

314
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,280
You really want to see me in a Speedo?

315
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,680
Come on. I mean, no.

316
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,180
Action. Some of my friends can be really
rigid, but that's just their way of

317
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:26,760
finding unity in the face of adversity.

318
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,140
Mm -hmm. Well, I appreciate that.

319
00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,780
But that's just their way of finding
unity in the face of oppression.

320
00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:39,560
I'm sorry. It's not funny.

321
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:45,880
I came out so I could be who I am, and
I'm not about to change to...